Prose Before Hoes

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Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.

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You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.

If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.

It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.

Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.

Changing your car’s oil is not optional.

Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.

You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.

 It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.

Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.

Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.

Good doctors listen more than they talk.

You can’t fix a burned roux.

Floss.

Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.

Measure twice, cut once.

Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.

If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.

You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.

There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.

Kindness is not weakness.

Baking soda is not baking powder.

Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.

Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.

Appropriate footwear is always key.

You can absolutely be too forgiving.

Real humor punches up, not down.

Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.

There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.

Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.

You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, bad restaurants.

You can always come home again.

But it won’t be the same.

Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.

Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.

36 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner - Whitney Kimball  (via seabelle)

(Source: shessoprettywhenshelies)

24-karat-vagina:

I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT

(Source: faineemae)

typette:

michaeljruocco:

rufftoon:

First look of Popeye/ CG animation test 

The animation starts at 2:00. The opening is pretty interesting to listen to as well.

The movements. Sooooo cartoony!! Whoever rigged those characters knows magic or something.

Well that blew away MY expectations… wonderful stuff! Now I REALLY can’t wait for the movie!

there’s nobody else who could pull this off but sony animation tho

shining-magically:

newerleaf:

flancrossing:

this is a hat you can buy

I’M FUCKING DYING

WHY

celluloidtoharddrives:

District 9 (2009) Directed by Neill Blomkamp

dmysta3000:

The honorable Beifong family tree

dmysta3000:

The honorable Beifong family tree

Une Femme Est une Femme (1961)

(Source: posthawk)

thepkmnprofessor:

company-pond:

stuffingkit:

what a fucking queen

I’m laughing too much at this…

image

my hero

(Source: breadonly)

notagirloraboy:

I WOULD LITERALLY DIE IF A BB SEAL CAME SCOOTING UP TO ME

(Source: ygreat)

24-karat-vagina:

I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT

(Source: faineemae)

pkmnprofessorgarrett:

carebearpikachu:

Hi, I’m Barbie ™ - Vine by Sarah Mangone

is she actually barbie

I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIP SYNCING BUT THEN

(Source: weloveshortvideos)

another meme i won’t finish [1/15 relationships]: Peter & Wendy

"It is the greatest adventure of all. They that find it have slipped in and out of heaven." "To find what?" "The one the kiss belongs to."